Working night shift dating

You took this package as is, ams you don't get to demands changes to better suite your desires , especially when it comes to how he makes his living. Through passion I gain strength. Through strength I gain power.

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Through power I gain victory. Through victory my chains are broken. The force shall free me. I dated - and ultimately lived with - a night-shift worker for over a decade. When I was in GradSchool, my schedule was like this: I think our relationship lasted as long as it did because we didn't have that much time together. It probably should have ended sooner than it did, but was constructive for its time Hey, night shift workers need love too!

Maybe he loves working those hours it's not fair of you to demand he finds a new job! What if he finds a job he hates? Or finds a new job that isn't as stable. Will he lose benefits, a pension, seniority? I think you're being selfish. It's not like jobs these days are so easy to come by. You should have never started dating him if this was a big problem for you. He shouldn't have to change what works in his life to please you.

People with opposite schedules opens the door for cheating and the relationship turns more into a fwb than a serious relationship. Thanks for all the replies. Originally Posted by Candice Luna. Originally Posted by Michelle Yeah, this is pretty much exactly how I feel.

I mean, so I'm going to sit at home alone each night, go to bed and he'll come home, want to sit up and talk and have sex and I'll be half asleep already? So then he resents me if I say no to sex and I resent the fact he's always working late. The thing is that I asked him if he would be willing to change very early on because this was very important to me and he said yes. So it wasn't like I just 'accepted' his work schedule when we started. I knew it was going to be an issue for me long-term if it kept up, so I asked him about it then and it seemed like it would get resolved.

Is your presence disruptive because of temperature, or noise, or movement? Would you be willing to invest in a better mattress or different bedclothes? Could you visit the doctor if there's a snoring issue?

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It really boils down to how serious you are about a two month relationship, and how easily both of you can coordinate and compromise. But where there's a will to be together, there's a way. I am so, so sorry but "we have sex less often" in a two month relationship is a catastrophic sign. This does not get better. It is the rare relationship where you are having more sex at 2 years than you were at 2 months. I am not, by the way, saying "break up with her because you're not getting enough. What hours is she sleeping?

Why are you not seeing each other after you come home from school and before she leaves for her night shift? Is there some reason she can't have sex before work to remove this particular anxiety? She works two weekends a month. I am always free on the weekends.


She is locked into her shift she is a nurse for the next months. I actually asked her about this, thinking it could be a fun way to spend a few summer mornings. She said "No, the hour after I get home from work is really important to me. It is part of my getting-ready-for-bed-ritual and if I miss that, my whole day is wrecked.

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I snore mildly and have seen my primary care, an ENT, and an allergist about it. I take some allergy meds that seem to mitigate it, but since I am in great shape and lead an active lifestyle, there is little else for it. She says it is a combination of my snoring and her nervousness about not sleeping when I am around. She has a very expensive mattress already, which early on ruled out my apartment as a place she could ever sleep. She usually sleeps I have a pretty high libido, which is probably tied to how often I work out and my somehow?

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Her libido is significantly lower than mine, which makes sense given the amount of stress and sleep disruption in her life. I am willing to be the pretzel, so to speak, for the foreseeable future, because she is worth it. As for making plans when she is not working, she usually has to initiate, because if I were to text her in the afternoon when she is sleeping or right after she has woken up and say "hey let me take you out to dinner or let's go for a walk at sunset along the lake" she will usually say "I'll let you know in a few hours if I am up for it," with me then coming across as pushy.

I can imagine how that feels if your SO is always texting you RIGHT when you get up trying to make plans and get you to commit to something when you haven't even had your "morning" coffee or brushed your teeth. I think you're just going to have to take this casually for the next nine months. Make plans as soon as she knows her days off, and let her initiate any getting together outside of that.

Dating night shift workers? Would you? - Community Forums

Well, from all your new additional information, it still seems like she's not willing to do anything outside of what she's comfortable with. She's not willing to do anything or go out of her way to be with you. If someone won't make space in their world for you She values her bed more. Don't get any more emotionally involved in this if you can avoid it. Or make it clear that you see there being a finish line at the end of the summer. Just prepare each other for the switch or make the split now.

Probably better than you feel trying to fish for this woman's time.

Vlog - about working night shifts in the ER

At least she's being pursued by a man whose company she says she enjoys. If she can't budge even the tiniest bit of her precise sleeping and working schedule for you and it's not going to change and it sucks this bad enough to do an AskMe at two months I think she just doesn't have room for another person in her life as is, and you're only going to feel shittier waiting around for tiny crumbs. Maybe just agree to be friends, but right now she is not at all up to handling a relationship where she sees someone regularly.

She needs to make some concessions in order to make you happy, and she's said no to every single reasonable thing you've asked. If she says no to everything, then, well, I don't think anyone here can help you. I understand completely why she wants to go back to a day shift when she has time off, but it's the worst thing she can do, in terms of her already-fragile sleep schedule. The science says those 1- to 3-day stints of resetting her circadian clock are incredibly disruptive. My husband shifted back to days on his time off and I never did.

Then again, he functioned better on nights than I ever did so maybe the capacity to adapt to different schedules is stronger than the disruption of the reset. It seems like she's losing a big chunk of her day to the commute.