Online dating creates a shopping mentality

The abundance of profiles online also may make daters too picky and judgmental, the authors say.

Online Dating Encourages 'Shopping Mentality', Warn Experts

The sheer number of options can be overwhelming, and the ease with which people can sift through profiles -- and click on to the next one -- may lead them to "objectify" potential partners and compare them like so many pairs of shoes. The shopping mindset may be efficient online, but when carried into face-to-face interactions it can make daters overly critical and discourage "fluid, spontaneous interaction" in what is already a charged and potentially awkward situation, Reis and his coauthors write. Communicating via email or instant message before meeting in person doesn't always cure this problem.

Some online communication is a good thing, the researchers say, but too much of it can skew expectations and ultimately sabotage a match. People tend to read too much into emails and other online conversations, which increases the potential for misunderstandings and disappointment, they point out. Some services, such as eHarmony and PerfectMatch. The authors of the review are skeptical of these claims.

Online dating shopping mentality | paiverndusu

They weren't able to find a single rigorous study showing the effectiveness of the algorithms, and other research suggests it's extremely difficult to predict the likelihood that a relationship will succeed before two people meet. To make matters worse, Finkel and his colleagues say, these algorithm-based services may encourage a counterproductive "destiny" mindset that prizes initial compatibility over other factors that are important to the long-term health of a relationship, such as the social and economic support individuals offer each other, or their ability to cope with stressful life events.

None of this, however, means that online dating isn't a good way to meet people.


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Pretzel User Inactive Registered: Dealer User Inactive Registered: Silly User Inactive Registered: Navigator User Inactive Registered: These attitudes cause the online dater to become increasingly judgmental and picky, with their prime focus being exclusively on attractiveness and interests - just like they would if they were shopping for items on the web.

And especially so for single women who often hold to them more strongly than single men.

Online dating shopping mentality

Internet dating comes along and simply intensifies this checklist mindset - leading to the shopping mentality highlighted by this study. Where do you stop? Sadly the reality is you're probably not going to meet a six footer with a GSOH, good income, is good with your mum but also hot stuff in bed.

Online Dating: Your Mindset for Success — Susan Winter