In dating do opposites attract

How do we communicate these expectations, and our feelings and opinions to the person in the relationship?

How does our personality type affect our expectations and methods of communication? Does our personality type affect who we are romantically attracted to? How does it affect who our friends are, and who we work with best?

Do Opposites Really Attract?

These are the questions which we address in this section of The Personality Page. Statistics show that individuals who are most happy within their marriages are those who have the highest levels of inner peace and those who have the most optimistic outlook on life in general. We do not address people's emotional standing here when discussing relationship issues, which is another important aspect of relationship dynamics. Opposites Attract That old concept and expression "opposites attract" has been batted around for centuries.

And in fact, it's very true when it comes to love relationships. We are naturally attracted to individuals who are different from ourselves - and therefore somewhat exciting. But it's not just the exciting differences which attract us to our opposites, it is also a natural quest for completion. We naturally are drawn towards individuals who have strengths which we are missing. When two opposites function as a couple, they become a more well-rounded, functioning unit. There is also the theory that our natural attraction to our opposites is a subconscious way of forcing us to deal with the weaker aspects of our own nature.

While we are highly attracted to our opposites, two opposites involved in an intimate relationship have significant issues and communication barriers to overcome. Take for example Lindsey and Alex. Lindsey was more of a lover than a fighter. She was good at caring and connecting with others, but she had a hard time with assertiveness and conflict. It seemed she often ended up having to put up with maltreatment or inconsiderateness from others. Lindsey started dating Alex, who was her opposite in this area.

Magnetic appeal: do opposites really attract in relationships?

Alex was strong, confident, and had no problems entering into conflict for what he believed was right. She was even more smitten when it helped her own life. She mentioned the problem to Alex over dinner. The next day, he had called her manager, and the wiring was fixed within twenty-four hours.

Do Opposites Attract?

She was elated, grateful, and even more attracted to Alex. He certainly had other good qualities, such as being caring, responsible, and funny. But she felt a lot of relief when she encountered conflicts that Alex would handle for her. With Lindsey and Alex the relationship continued to grow and deepen.

Do Opposites Really Attract? - Christian Dating, Singles

However, Lindsey began relying more and more on Alex to enter into conflict that she felt ill-equipped to deal with. He negotiated with her garage mechanic over problems with her car. He talked to her boss about her weekend work hours. He even confronted her mother on how she used guilt to get Lindsey to make inopportune visits.

Do Opposites Attract? (Dating Advice 2018)

Finally, the confrontational Alex sat Lindsey down for their own confrontation. Lindsey understood what Alex was saying. She agreed that she had been using Alex without realizing it, and she began working on assertiveness. However, the danger occurs when we make opposing styles or abilities a basis for relating to one another. At the outset of the relationship, this may seem like a good thing. You are complementing each other.


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You each provide what the other needs. However, the danger of going for an opposite-type person is this: But they run the risk of simply needing that person for those functions, and never giving the true loving feelings any relationship needs to grow and flourish. Dependency is only part of love. It is not the full expression of love.

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The full expression of love is to give back from a full heart. The story of Lindsey and Alex ends well, as the two eventually married and are happy together. But, without boundaries in dating, the problem could have resolved in very different ways, which we see in countless new relationships and marriages. These are not the hallmarks of a great relationship. Yet, these are the dangers that can happen when oppositeness rules.